Thursday, Jan. 01, 2004

What a great way to start off the year!

OK, so I'm obviously not welcome at "home" anymore.

My little sister has moved into my bedroom. It's not a big deal really, except coming home to see all of my things packed in boxes, waiting to be put in the shed, and then having Ashley, (my sister) ask me why I was there, was kind of upsetting. So I moved out! That doesn't mean that I'm not in the family anymore. It doesn't mean that I can't come "home" to say hello and chill. But whatever. As far as I'm concerned, they can all kiss my ass. If Jamie and I don't work out, I'm moving in with my grandmother. That's that. I don't want anything to do with them ever again.

Paying my Insurance and the $120 fine I got for having cigarettes on me is the only thing they'll ever hear from me from now on. No matter what happens this new year, I don't need them.

It's the funniest thing. I just read Jessica's aim profile and it says that she got her license on 12-18-03. I wonder what time it was, because at nine o'clock that morning I had gotten into an accident and totaled my grandmother's car. I made out fine, but that poor car is gone. For good.

Well, on a lighter note. Last night was New Year's Eve, and I did a baaaaad thing.

Last night, for the first, and hopefully only time ever, I booted heroin.

That's right, I, Nicole Marie Winter, stuck a needle in my arm, and allowed for heroin to enter my blood stream. Well, Jamie actually did it for me, but I'm glad I did it.

It was an absolute rush feeling the heroin flow through my body, my head almost instantly felt light and it was as though I had done a million and one painkillers all at once. I definetly liked it.

But then... I started to feel sick. I threw up after having lit a cigarette, which I knew would happen, because I always get sick when I do a strong drug - or a lot of drugs - and then try to smoke. But then, just the car ride made me nauseous and Jamie had to pull over so I could get sick beside the road. And finally, at Mike's house - a friend of Jamie's - I had another cigarette, and threw up for the 3rd and final time.

The last thing I did in the year 2003 was make love to Jamie.

The first thing I did in the year 2004 was make love to Jamie.

And then came the morning. I'm so sick right now. My head is light and I feel as though I'm going to die. Never, again, will I do heroin. It's just too much.

"Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out."

my-uhuru at 1:47 P.M.

previous | next