Wednesday, Dec. 31, 2003

To be, or not to be... I just don't know.

Ivan, the sweetheart that I work with, has come up with at least a dozen reasons why I should break up with Jamie. And when I try to defend Jamie, he says, "I don't care, get rid of him anyway. You can do better."

Ivan is really short, he's about 5'5, 5'4. I'm 5'6ish, so to me, 5'4 is short. But he's the cutest thing I have ever seen. I'd say I have a crush on him as well as John, but honestly, Ivan is too short for me to date. ;-)

Everyone at work is trying to convince me to get rid of Jamie, but I love him too much. I actually thought that last night I was going to get rid of him. But the more I thought about it, the more upsetting the whole idea got, and I ended up crying just thinking about him being gone.

I know what I should do, but I don't know if I can do it. Jamie means the world to me. I do know, though, that I'm raising the bar. I'm not giving him until February to quit booting. He told me that the bag he did the other morning would be his last. And I'm holding him to that. If he does so much as 1/8 of a bag, even snorts it, I'm gone. I'm not putting up with his heroin addiction. I'm only 17, I don't need to deal with something like that this early in my life.

I still have not started my period.

"First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity."

my-uhuru at 1:13 P.M.

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